J. Dong: I know a lot of people have told you this but this is just a phase, and they WILL outgrow it. When my DD was 2 years old, she also had a biting incident at the day care. I was appalled and surprised because she has never done that at home. The teacher did not make a big deal out of it and told me not to. She said that some of the kids do this repeatedly because of the attention they get, good or bad. So if you ignore them, or just firmly tell her "no", remove her from that situation then walk away, she does not think it is "fun" anymore and will stop doing it. I am not saying this teacher is 100% correct but this is just the advice she gave me. Thankfully my DD only did it once :) Hang in there!
S. Zembrodt: My first son also had a very intense biting problem. We would get two or three bite reports during the day. His daycare teachers and my husband and I would do exactly what you described below. It was very helpful when our son's teachers would observe what the triggers were to his biting. In our case, he had a hard time during transitions (from reading books to going outside) and with children he perceived to be in his space. Once we knew what would cause it, we could prevent the situation or would help him to deal with it.
I would also recommend the book Teeth Are Not For Biting by Elizabeth Verdick. We read it every night now with our second child.
T. Craghead: I have never had a problem with my daughter biting others, however we were on the other end. She was getting bit several times by two other children at daycare constantly. I commend you for wanting to address the situation, as the parents of the kids at my daughter's daycare did not. From what research I did, it's not that they are trying to be mean, they are too young for that. They bite for other reasons...teething, not adjusting well to a situation, over stimulation, under stimulation. Instead of looking at it as a behavior, I would look more of what situation/environment may be causing your little one to bite. This will help you and daycare foresee the situation to prevent the behavior by a redirect or intervention. At daycare, have them note the times and events going on when the biting occurs even if it was just an attempt as well as keep notes yourself. Once you know what is causing the biting, you can recreate the event and show her appropriate ways to handle it. Signing is a god send for that age, even if you just do the basics.
I would never suggest biting them back although grandma swears by it, that would teach them to actually bit in retaliation.
A. Hastings: My daughter went through this phase as well and she sounds a lot like your daughter (cute and sweet). :-) First, it is completely normal from a developmental standpoint. Once my daughter was moved to the one year old room she was frequently bitten. Within a few months things had changed and she became the aggressor. This was an obvious learned behavior.
- We bought the book, "Teeth are not for Biting" and read it every night. She always cried at the parts in the book when a kid was bitten. We would take that opportunity to discuss how badly it hurt and other things she could do in lieu of biting if frustrated, etc.
- Because our daughter only bit at daycare it made disciplining her hours after the fact or at home very difficult. So my husband and I took turns observing through an indoor window at daycare. If she bit someone while we were observing we would go into the room, take her aside, scold her and explain why this behavior was inappropriate. We would reassert other means of expressing herself, getting what she wanted, etc.
- At the suggestion of our pediatrician we also took a bottle of breath spray into daycare with a script for them to use it. If she bit someone they were to immediately spray it in her mouth, explain what she did was wrong & why, and put her in timeout. I know this last part may seem extreme, but my daughter ended up liking the breath spray. It was given in extremely small quantities. Lastly, my daughter's biting phase lasted so long and she was so persistent about it that they were thinking of temporarily suspending her.
K. Dale: I've gone through this with our 21 month old daughter. It's really nothing to be embarrassed about, some children have lower frustration tolerance than others. Biting is a natural response to frustration/anger and generally clears up when verbal skills begin. So, I just want to reassure you that it happens more than you think and it says nothing about your parenting skills, or your child other than she's frustrated or angry and doesn't have language skills to deal with it yet.
As far as dealing with it -- we tried to prevent it, (you're already doing that) and immediately responding to it when/after it happened. Our response was a consistent, firm, sort of "harsh sounding" NO and then removal to a time-out spot. We just tried to use the exact same approach every time.The other thing that helped us was "play acting" with her favorite bear. We'd say something like Mr. Bear is biting, that's not nice. He's being naughty -- let's tell him no. Eventually, she'd initiate this and tell you biting is "no, no, no." But, honestly, I don't know if any of this worked (she liked playing the no, no, no bear game) or if she simply grew out of it. It happens less and less as they talk more.
Don't worry. I know that's easier said than done, but she'll grow out of it. Hope that helps!
