But I want a H O R S E!!!

Who knows why or where she got the idea she wanted a horse, but that is all Grace could talk about tonight. She was like fixated on it... nothing and I mean nothing was going to deter her from her quest to get one either! Matt said, "honey, we don't have anywhere to put a horse..." I mean that's logical, right? Not to Grace, who responded, "he can sleep outside w/ Bella (Rob's dog)".

Then when Matt tried to use her friends as leverage - he said, "None of your friends have horses..." I know this logic later could come back to haunt him (i.e. Daddy Jane's Daddy lets her have boys in her room... don't think so!) But Grace was smart she said, "None of them WANT a horse". I mean duh, that makes sense why they don't have a horse, right?

She's very good about arguing - wonder who she learned that from? Could just be something you're born with:-)

By the end of the night Matt & I were both ready to scream the minute we heard the word HORSE, from now on the word is going to be banned - I almost think it was worse than the stage she went through where she asked to go to the beach every 2 seconds!

Hurricane Eva...

Okay so I'm starting to sound like a broken record - headlines read... "EVA attacks again". You would think I was referring to an October hurricane hitting the Texas coast or something... but no, just my little 20 lb. ball of fire. I wish she would start talking some, I truly think a large percentage of her bad behavior is b/c she doesn't have the verbal skills to express herself correctly. Not that expressing herself correctly would always change the situation but I think it would help - that's also the feedback I'm getting from other mom's here at work. It's strange really b/c when I think back about Grace she said "no" all the time, in fact I often hear that is the first word some children say - Eva's never said "no". It might be better if she just shouted, "no-no-no-no!" all the time rather than acting out.

So here is the latest in the Eva saga... we drove to JoAnn Fabric to look for some fabric to make curtains for the girls playhouse. While we were there Grace wanted to push the cart... so of course Eva wanted to push the cart to - using the handles like Grace did. Not easy when you're like 2' tall! So I would have to hold her in the air, while trying to make sure the cart went straight - just wasn't working out. So I set Eva on the floor to let her push the cart while walking, but she didn't like that either b/c Grace stood behind her pushing as did I. So we tried to shop w/ both girls cranky about who go to push.

Grace decided she wanted to sit in the front of the cart (yeah! one child making things easy or so I thought). Eva then decided to go after anything at eye level, not being able to push and carry her I put her in the larger part of the cart - just trying to make our way to the register... apparently Eva didn't want to be there. So instead of saying "no" she starts slapping at Grace's back - the only part of her visible to Eva in the larger part of the cart. Then Grace screeches, and starts crying real tears... saying, "Eva scratched me!" Grace often exaggerates how much something hurts - which is why I was AMAZED she got her ears pierced so easily (Daddy says she's just like me - determined when she wants to be)... the tears subsided so I just worked on making our way out of the store.

When I was putting Grace in the car I saw her back - and felt awful. Eva had scratched her hard enough to bring blood to the surface - like a cat scratch (not bleeding, but broke the skin) so of course it hurt! My baby:-( I got out my first aid kit to put medicine and band-aids (aka: ban-ban's) on her wounds... when Grace said, "I shouldn't have a sister" - I thought she said I should so I said, "honey you have one". Grace said, "I shouldn't have one, she just hurts me." I felt terrible - I let Eva hurt Grace, and I feel like there is something I should be doing for Eva to correct this. I'm at such a loss....

Luckily Grace moved on, and made buddies with Eva again - but who knows how quickly the weather will change and Hurricane Eva eye will make landfall.

Pit bull responses...

A. Neubeck: Trust me ALL KIDS go through this.......my daughter (now 2) had a biter in her class awhile ago and she bit a couple of times (not sure if it was just "monkey see monkey do" or retaliation).........and every now and then she tries to bite us. We do lots of "ouchy" and "no bite" and make bad and sad faces. She seems to be growing out of it. Sounds like your daughter is right on track!

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J. Dong: I know a lot of people have told you this but this is just a phase, and they WILL outgrow it. When my DD was 2 years old, she also had a biting incident at the day care. I was appalled and surprised because she has never done that at home. The teacher did not make a big deal out of it and told me not to. She said that some of the kids do this repeatedly because of the attention they get, good or bad. So if you ignore them, or just firmly tell her "no", remove her from that situation then walk away, she does not think it is "fun" anymore and will stop doing it. I am not saying this teacher is 100% correct but this is just the advice she gave me. Thankfully my DD only did it once :) Hang in there!

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S. Zembrodt: My first son also had a very intense biting problem. We would get two or three bite reports during the day. His daycare teachers and my husband and I would do exactly what you described below. It was very helpful when our son's teachers would observe what the triggers were to his biting. In our case, he had a hard time during transitions (from reading books to going outside) and with children he perceived to be in his space. Once we knew what would cause it, we could prevent the situation or would help him to deal with it.
I would also recommend the book Teeth Are Not For Biting by Elizabeth Verdick. We read it every night now with our second child.

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T. Craghead: I have never had a problem with my daughter biting others, however we were on the other end. She was getting bit several times by two other children at daycare constantly. I commend you for wanting to address the situation, as the parents of the kids at my daughter's daycare did not. From what research I did, it's not that they are trying to be mean, they are too young for that. They bite for other reasons...teething, not adjusting well to a situation, over stimulation, under stimulation. Instead of looking at it as a behavior, I would look more of what situation/environment may be causing your little one to bite. This will help you and daycare foresee the situation to prevent the behavior by a redirect or intervention. At daycare, have them note the times and events going on when the biting occurs even if it was just an attempt as well as keep notes yourself. Once you know what is causing the biting, you can recreate the event and show her appropriate ways to handle it. Signing is a god send for that age, even if you just do the basics.
I would never suggest biting them back although grandma swears by it, that would teach them to actually bit in retaliation.

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A. Hastings: My daughter went through this phase as well and she sounds a lot like your daughter (cute and sweet). :-) First, it is completely normal from a developmental standpoint. Once my daughter was moved to the one year old room she was frequently bitten. Within a few months things had changed and she became the aggressor. This was an obvious learned behavior.

• We bought the book, "Teeth are not for Biting" and read it every night. She always cried at the parts in the book when a kid was bitten. We would take that opportunity to discuss how badly it hurt and other things she could do in lieu of biting if frustrated, etc.
• Because our daughter only bit at daycare it made disciplining her hours after the fact or at home very difficult. So my husband and I took turns observing through an indoor window at daycare. If she bit someone while we were observing we would go into the room, take her aside, scold her and explain why this behavior was inappropriate. We would reassert other means of expressing herself, getting what she wanted, etc.
• At the suggestion of our pediatrician we also took a bottle of breath spray into daycare with a script for them to use it. If she bit someone they were to immediately spray it in her mouth, explain what she did was wrong & why, and put her in timeout. I know this last part may seem extreme, but my daughter ended up liking the breath spray. It was given in extremely small quantities. Lastly, my daughter's biting phase lasted so long and she was so persistent about it that they were thinking of temporarily suspending her.

I hope your daughter outgrows this phase quickly and that your daughter survives unscathed!

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K. Dale: I've gone through this with our 21 month old daughter. It's really nothing to be embarrassed about, some children have lower frustration tolerance than others. Biting is a natural response to frustration/anger and generally clears up when verbal skills begin. So, I just want to reassure you that it happens more than you think and it says nothing about your parenting skills, or your child other than she's frustrated or angry and doesn't have language skills to deal with it yet.
As far as dealing with it -- we tried to prevent it, (you're already doing that) and immediately responding to it when/after it happened. Our response was a consistent, firm, sort of "harsh sounding" NO and then removal to a time-out spot. We just tried to use the exact same approach every time.The other thing that helped us was "play acting" with her favorite bear. We'd say something like Mr. Bear is biting, that's not nice. He's being naughty -- let's tell him no. Eventually, she'd initiate this and tell you biting is "no, no, no." But, honestly, I don't know if any of this worked (she liked playing the no, no, no bear game) or if she simply grew out of it. It happens less and less as they talk more.
Don't worry. I know that's easier said than done, but she'll grow out of it. Hope that helps!

Help w/ my little pit bull...

Message to the Mommy Group @ work:

Okay Mom's, I'm embarrassed to ask... but does anyone have experience w/ their child biting?

My littlest who's 15 months started biting (I even hate saying it!) somewhere around a month ago. She's the youngest at day-care, and I think this is her only way to retaliate. I've corrected her firmly, removed her from the situation, even made her kiss and make up... she cries like she's heart broken when it happens but unfortunately it hasn't changed her behavior. Luckily she's generally pretty slow so if you know she's going to bite you can stop her and reprimand her first - but my four year old doesn't often realize her mean intentions until it's too late.

Any suggestions - and please not of the "bite her back" response.... Other than this nasty habit she's unbelievable cute & sweet:-)

Acting G O O F Y:-)

Eva on the attack...

Well Eva did it again - it's hard to believe she's so cute w/ those doe eyes and yet so rotten:-)

This morning the girls were playing in the bathroom w/ some paint brushes Grace had (no paint on them!). I guess Grace decided she didn't want Eva to have the one she was playing w/, and although Grace didn't ask for it back the right way - Eva shouldn't have bit her! Grace rather than saying, "Eva can I please have that?" which Eva will generally smile and hand it to you - not always though! Grace just grabbed it from her - so Eva immediately leaned in and BIT her on the crook of her arm. Grace started crying w/ real tears - bless her heart! I know it hurt, Eva's bitten me before. Her little arm had a raspberry from where she bit her and the teeth marks started to swell up.

Grace said it was bleeding but it didn't break the skin. I think it hurt Grace's feelings as much as it actually hurt. Matt wasn't home, so I couldn't manage both girls. Eva was crying right along with Grace... but I told Eva, "No - No biting!" and took her to her crib. Where she cried for the next 20 minutes, while I rocked Grace trying to make her feel better. When I went to get Eva, she stopped crying. I made her say she was sorry - not that she says "sorry" but she kissed Grace. I think she (Eva) was emotionally exhausted b/c she took a three hour nap!